Nina Seul | Different Callings Within One Lifetime

In this episode of No Map Included, I sit down with actress and producer Nina Seul for a conversation about identity, intuition, reinvention, and what happens when a lifelong calling begins to shift.

After spending more than twenty years building her life around acting, Nina opens up about the gradual realization that the career path she had centered her identity around no longer felt aligned in the same way. We talk about moving to Los Angeles, navigating the industry as a European actress, the emotional impact of rejection, and the pressure of constantly trying to prove yourself in a career that often feels deeply personal.

Nina shares how the pandemic, burnout, aging in the industry, and years of instability slowly changed her relationship to acting, and how she eventually found herself asking the universe for a new path entirely.

We also talk about intuition, immigrant experiences in the entertainment industry, finding joy outside of acting, and the difference between giving up on a dream versus allowing yourself to evolve beyond it.

More than anything, this episode is about realizing that identity doesn’t have to stay fixed forever, and that sometimes moving in a new direction isn’t failure, but growth.

And if you’ve ever questioned the path you built your life around, struggled to separate yourself from your career, or felt afraid to outgrow an old version of yourself, I hope this conversation makes you feel a little less alone.

About the Podcast

No Map Included documents the process of building stories in real time: from proof of concept to premiere.
Hosted by filmmaker and producer Yessi Sanchez, the podcast explores the work behind the work and the paths that don’t show up on IMDb.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to No Map Included, a podcast about creating a life without a clear path. I'm sitting down with my dear friend Nina Sil, who is also a co-producer at RTech Pictures. She's an award-winning actress with credits all over the world. And after a lifelong career in acting, she decided to step away from it. Welcome, Nina. Hi Yesie. So when we met, we both were actresses and then decided to pivot into producing. I know that you had a lot of training, a lot of credits, and you did everything like the right way, I want to say. Did you feel like you had a clear path at the beginning?

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Yes, actually, there were no other choice. I like to call it like a calling because I always said, well, if it's not a calling, I would never choose this path. I recall that this is what I always wanted to do since I was a kid, and I started my training very early, like around 10 years old. I was already attending um theater classes.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

So do you feel like you really built your identity around acting?

SPEAKER_02 1:13

Yes, actually I think so. It was always clear that uh when I turned 18, I would move to Paris to uh to become an actress. So yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

And when did it start to shift? When did you feel like, okay, maybe this is not my calling anymore?

SPEAKER_02 1:30

I remember when I turned 30, my early 30s, 31, 32. First of all, in France, when you turn 32, you feel like you're getting old for the job, which is ridiculous. But this is how I started to feel like that I was getting older and could sense that even from casting director. When I look back at me 10 years ago, I was not old, definitely not. This time was also a little bit of a challenge in my personal life. Um after seven years living with my my partner, I moved out, and I had I had nothing. I was like living on my best friend couch, and I got this offer to go to Hong Kong to do some modeling over there. And I was like, I have nothing to lose. I'm not working as an actress at the moment. I live on a couch, I don't have a boyfriend or family, let's do it. And it was a fantastic time. I would have been younger, I would have stayed. But then I realized that I couldn't work as an actress over there, and I started to miss it. So that was my wake-up call, the end of the doubts. It was clear, okay now, Nina, go back to Europe. You still want to be an actress. So that was fun. Thank you, and bye-bye.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

So then you went back to France, and when did you decide to move to LA?

SPEAKER_02 2:48

I decided to go into a theater school like four months in Germany, a very famous one, just to uh improve my German, to try to make new contact. So I went there for the audition, it went well, and I really thought I would I would get in. And I remembered that, so I had blocked my entire month planning to be in Germany, and they called me and they were like, Hey Nina, you you did a great work, but you know, because you're not like 100% German, uh we're afraid that's gonna be a disadvantage for your classmates and partners. What? Wow.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Yeah, I was shocked. I was like, oh my god. How would it be a disadvantage?

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Like that is just a better challenge to work with someone like who's and also you should welcome non-German people.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

And I'm half German. Yes, of course I have a French accent, and my German is not my mother tongue, so it's not as fluid, but I've worked in German. I shot in shows in Germany, so I was really pissed, yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

Yeah, especially that being the reason is just ridiculous. But I feel like living in Switzerland, being half Swiss, I had similar experiences. Not being fully an immigrant and not being fully Swiss, it's always a disadvantage to be half of something when it comes to Swiss casting, and I obviously haven't lived there for a decade, so I don't know how it is now, and I hope that it's more diverse now. That was just very disheartening, and that's a huge reason why I moved to LA. I'm wondering, is that something that triggered it for you to move to LA or that came later?

SPEAKER_02 4:32

I've never been like dreaming of Hollywood or you know, I I spent a summer in New York studying at the Stella Adler Conservatory of Acting, but I was not obsessed with Los Angeles, so I don't know what happened to be honest. But I was like, okay, I'm currently not working in France, I have a little bit of savings, I should just go to Los Angeles and see how it is. So I booked my tickets for a month. I found little Airbnb in West Hollywood, and all the lights turned green. So I found an agent during this trip. I met wonderful people, I met a lawyer, and I was like, Oh, okay, how would it be to move to the United States? And uh it was in 2016, and she made it sound like, oh yeah, no big deal. I mean, we've we can work on an old one together, you have the right credits, so I was like, okay, let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Yeah. And I started the process.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

You just had so many green lights, you everything just fell into place, and that's what I believe is exactly the path you should follow, the things that just fall into place. Because for me, I feel like I sometimes push too hard for things to fall into place. Like with LA, it was always LA or nothing. I mean, I did think about moving to Berlin because it would be easier, but I always wanted to live in LA, and the way I found my way here was through an acting school, and that was easy. Like that, I went to the audition, I got accepted, I got huge scholarships. Like I everything just fell into place, and so it was like, okay, this is meant to be, but then the journey after was really hard. Like it was always a struggle, like always pushing to be able to survive in LA with how expensive it is, with immigration and everything. It's just it's really tough. I feel like it was really tough for me.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

It was the same experience coming here, being like an immigrant, struggling money-wise to doing like tons of little jobs, and and I was already like 35. It was difficult, but you know what? It felt so exciting that even like struggling on all of this. I mean, my my quality of life was way better in Europe. I was making more money, I was stable. But something felt new and fresh in LA.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Did you feel that same calling then that you had for acting?

SPEAKER_02 7:07

Yes, actually, moving to LA, I felt super young again because I I don't think casting director or filmmaker are obsessed with the age. I mean, I didn't feel it was the same than in Europe. I was doing commercial as well, and when in France all those girls were like so skinny. In LA, the the body norms are different, and it felt wonderful. I felt young, sexy, talented. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

So I it fueled my acting call again.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

I love that you had a few different callings. Do you feel like you are a person who usually moves through life with like your gut feeling?

SPEAKER_02 7:48

I'm a very intuitive person, so most of the time I follow my gut and then I try to make it work practically and you know. But I usually follow my gut and it's usually good.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

That's really nice to hear. It's really inspirational too, because I feel like it's sometimes I get in my head and I overthink things and I lose that connection with like intuition and I just like I said before, I just try to push through something. And maybe that's good for like being a producer, but I think in life it can be a little hard. I'm very stubborn, I feel like.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

Yes, yeah, I think it's a quality.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

It's a quality. Thank you. I feel like sometimes it's just a nightmare. But when did you start feeling that shift again with trying to pivot or trying to step away from acting?

SPEAKER_02 8:50

The pandemic was definitely very, very challenging. So a few things happened. I remember I it was maybe a year after I've arrived in LA, I auditioned for a project that I really loved. I found it very interesting and I did a great job. Uh, I actually got the night of the audition an email from the director saying that I was the best, that well, that my casting was phenomenal, like a lot of compliments, but that few of the producers attending the session that day thought it might be challenging for the audience to understand my accent. So that was the first big slap in my face. Like my accent being pointed, and I've been trying to work on it, but honestly, I it's very challenging. Yes, I'm sure I can improve it, but at one point I was just obsessing with my accent, how I sounded, and I would feel like what makes me real in an audition. So but that was very challenging. It took me like a lot of time to recover, and it always stayed this little voice in my head, like, oh well, if you audition for like a non-French person role, you're not gonna get it anyway, because you have an accent. That was the first little thing, and then the pandemic was very challenging. I chose to stay in the USA because I was on a visa and I didn't know if I would be able to come back and when if I left.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

So was that the trigger? Or were there a few things was that a very long process for you to actually step back?

SPEAKER_02 10:27

Yeah, so I think that the pandemic started it because I I was away from my art for too long. I I remember after the pandemic, I I booked a small part in a movie, and I was working like with a famous actor. That was very impressive, very good, and and it was such a short scene that I had, but I was so rusty and the scene was intense. He was yelling at me being drunk, and I couldn't, I could barely get my lines out. I have a blackout, I don't remember what I said, how I said it. And I was so ashamed, I was like, oh my god, you know, you were able like to be on stage and like memorize tons and tons of lines and be on set, and now you cannot even handle one line in front of someone who's a little bit famous. So that was also a wake-up call. And after that, slowly but surely, I mean, the struggle, the strike in Hollywood. Also, you know how it is when you have to work to earn your living, you give a lot of energy. At one point, I was hoping that I wouldn't get any audition from my agent. And I I remember like when I would see like a notification for an audition, be like, oh no, that means tomorrow I have to wake up at 6 a.m. and do my makeup and learn my line. And at one point I was not even learning my lines anymore, just like printing the pages on the on the wall in front of me, and like so slowly I I realized that was not giving me pleasure anymore.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

So it was it was a very slow thing. Was it hard for you to then finally be like, okay, I'm not gonna do like to make it official? Because I feel like you can fall out of love with acting, you can have like the up and downs, but you made it very official.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

Yeah, I made it very official because at one point it was also not fair to my agents having them like you know, trying to find audition for me, trying to work for me when I didn't have the motivation anymore. So I I remember when I turned 40, it was very obvious. Again, I was in a very challenging place in my life, broken up with my boyfriend, uh, was like struggling with money, looking to find a new place, working mostly as a server. And I remember the day of my 40th anniversary, I was like, oh, I'm begging the universe to find something that's not acting, but that's gonna bring me joy and passion. So that was very clear when I made this wish. The wish was not to become a famous actress or to earn my living through acting, it was to find something else. So it became clear to me. As I said at the beginning, I would never have picked this career path, acting, if I had choice. I see it as a calling. And if you can do something else, great, because as you said, you always put acting first. So my birthday was March 5th. I asked the universe to give me something I would love that I would enjoy and that would not be acting. Four months after that, I I got the opportunity to work with uh the Orchestra delia Musicon, and I still work with them. And I love what I'm doing. So I'm managing the orchestra, I'm producing the shows, I'm uh booking the concert we have in the US. I love it. I found it very creative, and I am so happy to do that. So I got this. UhTAC also came more or less at the same time. And a few months after that, I got the opportunity to start managing restaurant. And I loved all those three opportunities. And I remember like the two years after that, I was trying to find okay, which one of those uh paths do I prefer? Because I I need to pick, I cannot do everything. And so after a year and a half managing restaurant, I was like, okay, that's enough for me. And now I'm so excited about Attack Pictures, our production company, and uh working for Delhi Musicum. I feel like I found what I was looking for. Was there any grief in that decision to shift? I I don't know if it's a grief. I mean, it was more grieving for my family, my friends, or like uh my boyfriend. Because and it's wonderful, they all think I'm very talented, and some of them are like, oh my god, are you sure? But you've done that your entire life. You worked more than 20 years as an actress. Are you sure? Are you sure? And I'm like, yeah, I don't have any like uh fear of missing out. And I don't have like jealousy or envy when my uh my girlfriends were actresses are have success. I'm very happy for them from the bottom of my heart. That's really nice to hear.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

When I think about giving up acting, I think about my younger self and that I would be disappointed in myself. Did you ever get that?

SPEAKER_02 15:30

Well, in your sentence, I'm gonna like uh highlight something you said. You said giving up. Something that helped me last year. I did a list of my uh hall of fame with all the succeed I had, including acting. And I'm already very proud of what I achieved. I didn't give up acting, I just transitioned to another career path.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Do you feel like you were letting go not just of acting but also of your identity or a part of your identity that you were as an actress?

SPEAKER_02 16:03

I guess I was letting go of my identity a little bit because um when you grow up wanting, willing to be an actress, then you study, and everything is toward acting, and as you said, acting always comes first, and I remember like this thought I had my entire life until recently that was uh oh yeah, acting is always gonna be number one. Acting is always gonna be number one. So I was letting go of an identity, and yes, yeah, I'm not gonna lie, it feels so good. I have a way better work-life balance. I feel happier, I think.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

I'm curious what's something about the industry that you had to learn the hard way?

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Well, I would say, and it's a bit sad to say that most of my wants came from acting. You know, learning the hard way came from acting. You're not good enough, or your accent is a problem, or you know that's not German enough. You're not German enough. Yes, exactly. You know? So that's sad to say, but I learned the hard way from acting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

I always say acting is like having a toxic boyfriend.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

Yes, that but but I also want to say that acting brought me a lot of joy because when I think about you know studying a character, being in front of the camera on stage, and like this feeling is very unique and it's absolutely beautiful. It is, yeah. And it's a way to look at life with a different eye. So this is magical, and I have zero regret.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

I love that. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 17:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

Yeah, it comes with a lot of highlights and it comes with a lot of pain as well, unfortunately. Do you feel like you've closed a chapter for acting or does it still exist in a different way or for your future?

SPEAKER_02 17:56

Well, I learned something in my life, never say never. And it's true for a lot of things, and of course, I guess if all of a sudden I would have I had like a beautiful rule falling into my laps, I would take it.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Just to close it up, is there anything that you also wanted to mention, maybe for people listening to this podcast, something that we didn't talk about?

SPEAKER_02 18:24

I mean, we we talk about a lot of things, but I just want to remind uh everyone that we all have a different path and that uh uh we should not give up. When we have a dream, when we believe in something, uh we should not give up. If at one moment it's time to move another direction or you realize you're not happy anymore in the path you choose, there's always time to find something else, to move another direction. And that's what his birthday. Uh I was miserable because I saw that I didn't have any future outside of acting because I didn't know how to do anything else. I had no idea what I would do next, and well, apparently I'm capable of other things than acting, and I'm good at it. So please always believe that. And I I want to close with what my dad told me when I turned 40. My dad has uh had a brilliant career in the university filled in uh in law. So his big brain and beautiful career. And when I turned 40, I was just like um a server, not working as an actress, nothing, feeling miserable. And he told me, uh, you know, Nina, I'm so excited you're finally turning 40, you'll see it's gonna be wonderful. And most of the people really realize themselves after 40. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

That's nice. Uh only seven years to go for me. It can happen before, but what I mean is like we have different lives in one life, and it's beautiful to enjoy all of those lives.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

Yeah, I love that. That is a really nice closing um statement. Um yeah, and I feel like you also explained my internal struggle that I had for a very long time so well that it's a lot of pressure to not give up. But then when that shift happens naturally, like both can be true. It doesn't have to be one thing or the other, and I think that's very beautiful. Thank you so much for your words and opening up. It was um a really inspiring conversation, and maybe this is getting me out of my rut. Yes, thank you.